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Getting Past the Affair: The 3 Phases of Recovery

Updated: Jul 29, 2021

Are you (or someone you know) going through the heartache of an affair? There is hope for you and your partner.

In this video, Tom Philp, LPC, explains how our newest e-book helps you navigate the recovery process. It's called "Getting Past the Affair: The 3 Phases of Recovery."

Get this free e-book (our gift to you!) at

Video Transcript: Hi, I'm Tom Philp with Stonebridge Couples Therapy.

As you might imagine, we see quite a few couples that are struggling through an affair. This is a very difficult time in their lives. A third party has broken in and disrupted the bond between two people. They come into us and there are all kinds of emotions swimming around in the relationship. There's hurt and pain and guilt and shame, and the couple feels stuck.

Often, they don't know what to do. I got to thinking about that, and I wrote a brand-new free E-book for anybody that goes to our website. You can download it for free, to help couples understand and give them a road map for how to traverse through an affair recovery.

It's called "Getting Past the Affair: The 3 Phases of Recovery." So, it starts with a clinical vignette and then moves right into a clear definition of what an affair is. Now, this definition is broad enough to include any emotional affairs that may have happened with the couple or any physical affairs that may have happened as well and then we move right into phase one.

Phase 1 is all about helping the couple understand what to do with the relationship. Should they stay or should they go? Should they break up or should they endure the pain and the hard work that it takes to heal that bond between them? Research shows that most couples actually stay together even through an affair, but the big question is, "What is the quality of the relationship after the affair if they decide to stay together?" and that moves us right into phase 2.

If the couple decides to stay together and repair and fix what was broken, then the hard work begins of digging into what the relationship was like prior to the affair. What needs were being met? What needs were not being met? What cycles were taking place that was causing disconnection in the relationship. If the couple is able to endure the pain of being able to get through phase two.

They've got a really good chance to move on to phase three and that is being able to mourn the loss of the old relationship and look to a brighter future together as they move into the future. If you've ever been struggling from an affair, if you have been hurt from an affair in the past, I really encourage you to pick up this book.

There's a lot of great information in it and I wrote it just for couples that are struggling with an affair so they have a road map. They don't feel stuck. They know the process that's playing out before them.

You can pick it up at our website, and I really hope it brings value to you. Thanks a lot.

- Tom Philp, LPC & CEO Stonebridge Couples Therapy

(918) 398-7678

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