Is This a Good Reason for Couples Therapy?

Couples counseling is hard work.

Maybe that is why less than 5% of divorcing couples come to therapy for help.

What most don’t realize is that therapy can benefit not only the relationship, but the individuals as well.

Listed below are five benefits of couples therapy. See if any of these can help you and your relationship.

1. Learning how to communicate better

Communication is perhaps the biggest concern that couples bring to therapy.

This includes feeling misunderstood as well as not heard by your partner.

Resolving this issue involves not only communicating in the way your partner can hear you, but also knowing your feelings--and communicating them in a way that can be understood.

2. Removing barriers and negative cycles that keep your relationship stuck

Every relationship when under stress tends to have a reliable pattern that repeats itself.

Whether the couple is arguing about whose turn it is to do the dishes or child rearing practices, these patterns can keep the relationship stuck and the partners feeling frustrated.

Knowing the triggers and how each partner maintains and supports this pattern will go a long way in resolving these unhelpful behaviors.

3. Healing from past hurts and painful emotions

If you have been in your relationship for any length of time, chances are you have been hurt or disappointed by her partner. 

Having a safe place to discuss these hurts can help you heal and move forward rather than staying stuck in the past.

4. Learning how to meet your partner’s needs, and getting your needs met as well

Oftentimes couples come to therapy because they feel as if they have tried everything they know to get their partner to hear their needs.

Understanding how to meet each other’s needs goes a long way in being able to reduce the tensions and stress in the relationship.

In addition, understanding what needs cannot be met and being able to soothe oneself can go a long way in being able to grow individually.

5. Growing closer and feeling more connected to your partner

For some couples, sticking the right balance between individual expression and attachment is an ongoing negotiation.

How close can we feel to our partner before we start to feel smothered?

Conversely, how far apart can we get before we start to feel abandoned?

These are issues that repeatedly come up in couple’s therapy and need to be worked through in order to strike the right balance that works for both partners.

Having these honest discussions in a neutral environment can help couples feel closer and more connected.

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Couples therapy can help partners learn to communicate better, recognize negative cycles of interaction, and heal from past hurts.

It can also help couples make progress towards understanding and meeting one another's needs.

Navigating challenges together and resolving conflicts in a guided and constructive way can ultimately strengthen couples' bonds, fostering a greater sense of connectedness and closeness.

- Tom Philp, LPC, CEO Stonebridge Couples Therapy